I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
