u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
