For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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