sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
