my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
