I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
