Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
