There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
