Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
