sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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