my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
