You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
