Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Randomize
