Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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