im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
