So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
