We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
