that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
