Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
