my vag is so smooth its legendary
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
