have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
My vagina just recognized that song.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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