"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
