Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
