I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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