I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize
