Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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