i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
