I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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