he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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