i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
