Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
