I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
