this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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