Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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