my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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