we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
The adults are the big ones right?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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