There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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