UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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