This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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