do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
