He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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