Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Someone shattered a urinal.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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