Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
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