He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
