i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
