you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
