As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
