two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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