I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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