i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
