it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
We just shotgunned beers for America
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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